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Unclutter Your Life In One Week, by Erin Doland

Let’s talk about a few ironies, such as this book that was supposed to take a week to read actually took six, and that’s only because I couldn’t renew it anymore from the library. (My guess is that “continually renewing library books because it’s easier than taking them back” is not a recommended trait for uncluttered people.) The other irony is that I followed the Unclutterer blog for a while, until it cluttered up my google reader and I decided I needed simplicity. 

I had a bit of a roller coaster relationship with this one. When I got to the part about how I was putting my career at risk because of my messy desk, I was like, EFF YOU BOOK and refused to read it. Then I cleaned my desk at work the next day. I skipped the enlightening parts about how my smart phone could save me time and space, and most of the ideas relating to normal 9-5 desk jobs. When I sort of liked the book (at the beginning), I briefly considered adopting a “uniform” until I realized this takes ALL THE FUN out of planning any outfit. I just laughed when I got to the part about always getting gas for the car on Saturday mornings because apparently, if you live the uncluttered life you become a robot who always needs gas on Saturdays and can never deviate from any routine. FUN!

Sure, there are some decent ideas in here but they could be summed up with common sense, such as: get rid of clothes you don’t wear! And books you don’t need! Figure out when you are most productive during the day! Have a place to put your keys and mail! Clean on a regular basis because cleanliness will help you feel settled! I get that if you are a very important person you need a lot of systems to manage everything, and as it turns out, I’m pretty happy with both my level of importance and organization in life, thanks.

[crossposted from my goodreads]

Recent Google Searches That Have Not Yielded Satisfactory Results

• when the fuck is my single sort bin gonna arrive
• where the fuck is my bon appetit

I would share more nuggets like these, but apparently in a quest to protect my future self from finding past embarrassing google searches, I turned the saved history feature off.

On That Time I Stayed In A Yurt In The Middle Of Nowhere

[Inspired by this piece on yurts in The Billfold.]

Back when I was 19, a sophomore in college, one of my friends invited me on a trip with her friend over winter break. A road trip! To CANADA! Because yes, when you have four weeks off in January and live in the upper midwest it makes sense to go somewhere further north. Of course it does!

The three of us headed north of Winnipeg to stay in a wilderness hostel, which was in fact a nicely sized yurt on a couple’s property in pretty much the middle of nowhere. We had outhouses. We cooked our food with a camping stove. Most of the fees we paid were for gas to heat the place, and I don’t remember ever being cold. 

We stayed in the yurt for 4-5 nights, this round lovely yurt in the middle of nowhere, alongside a frozen creek, or river, who knew? It was frozen! We stayed there among the pine trees, among all sorts of trees, and slept late, and read books, and played scrabble on a tiny magnetic travel board. We went on hikes and one day tried cross country skiing. We always looked at the stars, which were beyond plentiful. 

As I was recounting this trip to someone many years later, I realized the oddest thing - we had not a drop of alcohol. I’m pretty sure my friends just didn’t drink, and to me it wasn’t odd to abstain at a yurt, since drinking was a think to do at house parties. But as a boring adult, I am floored at this fact - I spent half a week in a yurt in the middle of nowhere in a country where I could legally buy alcohol (and really, wasn’t that the only reason to go to Manitoba?) and didn’t drink a thing?

Still, I always think of this trip fondly, and I often wonder if that yurt is still there. According to the internet, there are no hostels in the middle of Canada anymore (including the one where we stayed for a night in Winnipeg). New goal: find another yurt and hole up for a few days.

On Testing

Pierce repeatedly failed the writing exam and spent more than $2,000 of his own money to pay for classes and re-takes. He was close to being told he couldn’t teach before he finally passed. But Pierce says he didn’t suddenly learn something new. He passed because the same questions started showing up on those retakes, so he knew what to write.

It’s been extremely frustrating,” he said. “It’s been expensive; it’s been frustrating; it’s been tedious work… and I honestly don’t think I’ve become a better writer because of it.”

- Minnesota Lawmakers Urged to Rethink Year-old Teacher Test Law, MPR News

I know what you’re thinking - the test in question is a basic skills test and all teachers should have basic skills, right? But reading this quote shows me that in the end, this teacher won the testing game. It took a lot of time and money, and he didn’t learn much in the end, but he did it! He won!

It’s been years since I had to take the basic skills test, but I did need to take a math content test to get an additional license. There were 48 questions, with a 60 minute time limit. Most of the concepts were things I last studied over a decade ago, if at all. It took me three tries to pass one portion - a lot of time, a lot of frustration, a lot of feeling shitty about my abilities, and a good amount of money (though nowhere near the thousands). But in the end I too won the game, though I didn’t learn a lot.

Parents of preschoolers in New York City spend thousands of dollars prepping their kids to pass the gifted and talented test. Think of the standardized tests you’ve taken in the past - how did you prepare? Did you actually obtain knowledge, or did you just get better at playing the game?

I ask these questions as teachers all over the country gear up for our rite of spring - standardized state tests. How are these tests different from any others? Are they also a game that can be won? Are our students learning useful skills and content, or strategies to win the test? How should we use these tests to judge our schools, our teachers, and students?

Parka, Objective and Subjective

Parka is the new-hip-trendy buzz restaurant in my neighborhood, the one that has already sparked twitter fights over a fired chef. Let’s go!

Objectively, the food was very good and reasonably priced. We started with the brussel sprouts (along with bacon! and egg!) and they were DELICIOUS. I ordered the pot roast after the waitress called the meatloaf sandwich a novelty, but Aaron got the meatloaf and truthfully I was jealous. The pot roast was good, but I’m not that into pot roast and his sandwich was great. So! If you are of the meat-eating persuasion and want to try out the hip new place, you should.

And now for the much more fun, much more nitpicky subjective review. First, I need to talk about the decor. Maybe hate is too strong of a word, but I seriously did not like the look of the place. The nice wood paneling was ruined by stripes of fluorescent neon, cheap looking plastic storage crates on the walls, and ugly, uncomfortable chairs that were really difficult to get out of. 

Both the decor and the menu seemed to take you in while hurriedly whispering, “We really want you to think we’re cool. Do you think we’re cool?” which is to say, so much of this place was trying way too hard. The little circles of horseradish and orange gel on the plate of pot roast that didn’t add too much in the way of flavor? Trying too hard. The sandwich served on a cutting board shaped like Minnesota? Trying too hard. The neon pink espresso machine? The mounted wooden deer heads wearing scarves on the wall? Trying way too hard. 

But perhaps the better test of a new neighborhood restaurant is, would I go back? Well, maybe, but there are so many other places I would return to or try out first. Sure, I could stop by again for a $14 meatloaf sandwich if I wanted an indulgent treat, but entree-wise, there wasn’t much else I was even interested in trying. I could stop in for good coffee and a pastry…or I could go to Peace Coffee, which is barely four blocks away from my house. I think some of my disappointment lies in the fact that I want the new neighborhood place to be one I could frequent often, but Parka really isn’t that place for me. (I’m not even sure how Parka fits in with Longfellow - it seems like it belongs more in the North Loop or Loring Park.) This is in no way their fault, nor their responsibility. Still, if I’m looking for a casual sandwich and fries, I’d probably head to Mosaic, which maybe isn’t as good and inventive but feels more like home.

Checking In On Ideas

The full list is here, I’ll just elaborate on the things I’ve actually accomplished so far.

• Give up dairy, grains, sugar, alcohol and BEANS for thirty days because…I don’t know, it’s a challenge?

I gave up refined sugar for about two weeks. It was crazy difficult and then it got easier, and then Valentine’s Day came and candy gave me an immediate headache but I still kind of wanted it. Lessons: candy is terrible but dark chocolate is okay, and cleaning out the desk stash is the best thing you can do.

• Host a birthday soup party

I did this last night and it turned out great! I made one of my everything soups and a lentil coconut thing, and Aaron made gumbo (which was probably the most popular, grrrr…). I also made a flourless chocolate torte with an insane amount of chocolate. AND bought a $14, 5 pound loaf of bread, which from experience is probably enough to feed a small army. Lessons: food, friends, and alcohol go together well and are more important than having matching flatware.

• Make a table runner
• And placemats

Instead of making these I’m working on making enough cloth napkins so we never have to use paper towels again. Adults!

• Buy a couch already you’ve been waiting your whole adult life for this!

Ugh, I was really close to pulling the trigger on this and then had unexpected, mucho expensive car repairs so I put off couch buying again.

• Visit friend in Hawaii and spend a week learning how to surf

I couldn’t find anyone to come to Hawaii with me so I’m going to Las Vegas instead. I know! Las Vegas sounds kind of terrible but I’m really excited! Hawaii will happen someday, it will.

Things I Thought I Wouldn’t Like But I Do, #1: New Girl

I started writing this out and then realized: I disliked Zooey Deschanel for all the same boring reasons that everyone else does - too girly, too quirky, too whatever. (Also, She and Him has really blaaaahhhh music and it makes me mad to see indie boys swoon just because she’s cute.) All of this made me not want to watch New Girl, until the perfect mix of boredom and hearing good things propelled me to start.

And I like New Girl for the same reasons most others do: it’s funny, and charming, and Schmidt is the best lovable douchebag out there, and even though Jess could be an adorably annoying character, it’s tempered by the fact that she actually admits to taking advantage of guys for their bodies. (I will still get annoyed when she wears skirts that are waaaayyyy too short for interviews and shows waaaaaayyyy too much cleave while teaching.)

The second season has been up and down for me, but the last two episodes have been so great, the kind I would watch repeatedly and read recaps of. I also want to rewatch all of the first season. So there you go, call me a girl obsessed with New Girl.