Saturday April 05, 2014 at 12:51

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Recipe Dump, Spring Break Edition

Spring break apparently now means, “let’s spend too much money at Seward Co-op all week! WOOO FOOD PARTY!”

Baked Red Lentil Falafel Salad 

Woo, falafel! Baked falafel! Which is much easier than fried falafel. This recipe is pretty genius because you throw a bunch of stuff in a food processor, shape it, and bake it. Loved the falafel. Loved the salad, which really doesn’t even need a recipe. Tahini sauce was meh, but this is because I still don’t really like tahini. Will I ever be converted? Grade: A-

Ginger Coconut Milk Soup

I went to yoga on Thursday and it was chilly with impending snow so I spent the whole class thinking of soup. SOUP! Coconut water soup! Which is basically what this is: throw a couple of cans of coconut milk in a pot with some other stuff (ginger, shallots, water) then add some veggies and serve with noodles. It wasn’t awful, but it initially tasted very bland and I was sad that I had spend so much money on ingredients for something so boring. (Next time: halve the recipe. But really, next time? Probably not.) Grade: C+

Everyday Chocolate Cake

I put this cake in the oven and left, instructing my dude to take it out with the timer, which should have happened while he was home. But instead it ended up in the over probably longer than it should have been there, which is why it was dry, I’m guessing? The batter was delicious. The cake was also delicious, but would have been best with lots of whipped cream or ice cream. No matter, since I still happily ate it for breakfast. Grade: B- for baker error, will try again with proper techniques.

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Saturday March 08, 2014 at 12:26

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Some Bands and How I’ve Seen Them

I saw Cibo Matto earlier this week, and am seeing Arcade Fire tonight, which brings back memories:

  • Cibo Matto, Madison, 2001: a lady I knew from the internet whose boyfriend attended UW-Madison said I should see them with him. I was like, okay! I ended up getting a ride to the show with him and a dude who went to my high school.
  • Radiohead, Liberty State Park, 2001: Radiohead went on tour and I decided to fly out east to meet a boy I had a crush on (again, internet) and also see Radiohead play with the pre-9/11 skyline in the background. That boy had a band and his band was dumb but I was too enamored to realize it yet.
  • Crash Test Dummies, Somewhere in New Jersey, 2001: Same trip, a friend’s boyfriend was opening for the Crash Test Dummies. I was alarmed that the lead singer was short and svelte.
  • The Blow, Some basement in St. Paul, 2004: I actually don’t remember how I came across this, but it involved a google search and a local message board leading me to a random house. I was going to a Halloween party after so I had a costume on and was by myself. I ended up making friends with a couple of kids who later wrote a missed connection about me that I didn’t see but somehow saw on myspace? And they became my new show friends.
  • Arcade Fire, 400 Bar, 2004: There was this band that people were talking about on the internets and I said, should I go to this show? And everyone was like YES and I bought tickets at the door and the show was good but I couldn’t see most of it since the 400 Bar sucked. These stories never happen anymore because 1.) I’m not cool enough to be up on upcoming bands and 2.) EVERY SHOW SELLS OUT IMMEDIATELY, THANKS, THE CURRENT AND GENERAL MARKET TRENDS.
  • Jeff Magnum, State Theater, 2012: I didn’t get tickets to this because (see previous). Deb bought two tickets intending to give one to her boyfriend, but later decided I was a more fit recipient and it was one of the best friend favors ever.
  • Arcade Fire, Target Center, 2014: Now Deb and Will are getting married and the bachelorette party is the Arcade Fire show which is way better than the Shout House or other silly bachelorette options. We will probably be in seats close to where we sat when I saw bands such as Garbage, the Backstreet Boys, and New Kids on the Block at the Target Center, but I’ll be much better dressed and it will be great.
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Sunday February 23, 2014 at 17:33

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Possible Wedding Themes

…that will potentially help guide very important decisions (life-altering, no doubt) about decorations.

  • Hey, We’re Getting Married Here Are Some Flowers
  • Flowers That Survived In Our Garden (Of Love)
  • Shit I Saw On Pinterest
  • Succulents! 
  • Summer Wonderland (I don’t know what the eff that even means but good news! When we wed there won’t be snow!)
  • Summer Picnic Disguised As A Plated Dinner
  • Colors! Because Who Can Pick Just Two?
  • Burlap and Lace (and Zinnias)
  • Herbalicious
  • Upcycled Bullshit
  • Old Money
  • Vegetables
  • Fruit
  • Fruit AND Vegetables
  • Whole Grains and Seeds
  • This Is The Only Party I’ll Ever Decorate So Here’s An Awkward Mix of Ideas From The Internet
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Wednesday February 19, 2014 at 19:42

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“His typical day: Wake up; play with his baby; work out at Golf & Body from 9-10; head to 30 Rock at 10:30; check messages; run down sketches and ideas with head writer and producer at 12:30 p.m.; eat lunch at desk from 1:30 to 1:45 (“Usually a salad. I have the same salad every day. But I’m smiling as I eat it. It’s not that sad.”)”

39 Things You Learn Hanging Around Jimmy Fallon — Vulture

Hey, can someone start a Jimmy Fallon Smiling Alone With Salad Blog?

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Tuesday February 18, 2014 at 22:10

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On Community, Swimming Edition

I went swimming for the first time in a month tonight. I have many excuses: work is killing my exercise habits, polar vortexes and wet hair don’t mix, sometimes I just wanna stay dry in my house even if there isn’t a sauna there. But a bigger, more important reason is that my current swim group (if you can call it that) has no sense of community. There is no social draw. There are people that maybe know my name but they’re not there consistently or I’m not there and we’re all part of the problem, I guess. The coach stands on the opposite side of the pool with his two lanes of awkward adolescents, guiding them through every part of their workout while the Master’s group follows the directions written on the white board. On the night before Halloween, I grumbled through the stupid workout, changing it as I so pleased, because who was to hold me accountable? Then I grumbled some more as he gave the kids candy. Screw you and your stupid workouts with insane amounts of breaststroke, I thought. Why do I even bother?

I miss very little about the Cathedral Hill YWCA. I don’t even miss the pool - the chemical balance makes my chest heave and it’s too dark. But I miss the people that I can always count on in the lanes, the ones who know my name, the ones who ask how I’m doing when I stop by to swim because I want to be a part of something. I miss the coach who probably still knows approximately how fast I swim, and would know if I’m having a good day or a slow one. 

I still bother with swimming because it’s still awesome, even if I get there late and leave early without saying a word to anyone. But having a community of swimmers to depend on makes me swim harder, gives me someone to commiserate with during an insane workout, helps me count laps, asks me how my day was and these things matter. I’ll still swim, but I’ll spend my laps thinking about how I miss community.

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Friday January 24, 2014 at 21:33

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  • Look for a new job
  • Try yoga-based activities with my students because hahaha they can’t stay quiet for 10 whole seconds but at least I’ll be breathing deeply
  • Stop staying at work so late
  • Go to yoga more
  • Have more dinner parties
  • Host a birthday brunch party, partly because I still have Bloody Mary mix and crappy vodka to offer guests
  • Maybe just drink Bloody Marys on a Sunday FOR THE FUN OF IT
  • How the hell do you pluralize Bloody Mary, anyway
  • Get a massage
  • Get massages all the time
  • Opt to DIY wedding flowers and centerpieces by growing it all in the garden
  • Inevitably go crazy come late July when the flowers haven’t grown and whyyyyy didn’t I just hire a florist
  • Make cookies with this new KITCHENAID MIXER
  • Make cakes! Make pies! Have people over for pie and cake happy hours!
  • I have brownies, want some? No, they’re not “special.” I mean, they’re special in the sense that they’re delicious brownies.
  • Do something truly epic for my 1000th tumblr post (this will be #978) such as bake a cake that I’m later begging people to eat
  • Register for bricks for a patio on some sort of registry
  • Register to have the front steps fixed because that’s better than towels
  • Only post lists of ideas after 1.5 glasses of wine
  • Figure out a way to make my morning routine more efficient to optimize sleep
  • Become a robot
  • Try StitchFix because these clothes are all terrible and who has time to shop
  • Seriously, the other day I wore a sweater I bought in college and just what the fuck
  • Replace all my crappy drugstore makeup with stuff without chemicals
  • Maybe try wearing mascara to work again
  • Find a pair of headphones to wear while running that actually stay in my ears
  • Get new ears
  • Dance to Madonna in the kitchen every Friday night


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Sunday January 05, 2014 at 15:51

No, no, no, no, and no.

No, no, no, no, and no.

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Tuesday December 31, 2013 at 15:19

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The Year In Selected Tweets

I realized that making a year in review post wouldn’t be super interesting, especially since I do something like that every season. (I got engaged, started at a new job, made some new friends. That is about all.) So I spend too much time looking through tweets and picking ones that weren’t necessarily the best but exemplified my internet existence. So, here you are. I sure talk about salad a lot.

December 30 - Also, I got a sad pair of black shoes that just make me want to concede to my life as an old lady.

December 16 - Related: let’s all drink wine and write holiday letters that only thinly cover up our regret in taking a new job! CHEERS!

December 11 - It’s fun that I only get excited about bands that I saw 12 years ago.

November 30 - After about a YEAR of hemming and hawing over couches I bought one after thinking about it for 10 minutes, tops. Decisiveness feels good.

November 13 - Annoying tweet alert: I went to the gym and just wanted to work out forever, even if only to avoid work.

October 5 - Oooh guess what time it is? TIME TO MAKE FUN OF THE ANTHROPOLOGIE CATALOG!

September 24 - Made a kid cry today! What did you do?


August 18 - GOOD MORNING PARTY PEOPLE! Let’s go swim and bike and run WOOOOOOOO coffee

August 6 - Ugh I just watched a lady give birth to a freaking dark cloud and I’ll probably still keep watching this junk

July 23 - I’m going swimming twice in one day, which is precisely the thing I was trying to avoid when I quit the team in 6th grade.

July 5 - These smashed strawberries are my new jam.

June 27 - I smell like the holy trinity of summer: sunscreen, sweat, and chlorine.

June 8 - Oh margaritas! // You go so well with tacos // and biking, and life -ku

June 2 - Someone should start a plant identification site called .

April 30 - You guys, I’m sorry I haven’t had time to post a selfie of me hugging my new single-sort bin but I will GET RIGHT ON THAT.

April 23 - Shoving salad in my face. Just like a lady.

March 24 - LOL VEGAS WTF

March 18 It’s almost time-to-watch-the-finale-of-Pitch-Perfect-again-YES-again-o’clock, you guys!

March 4 - Sometimes I email myself reminders to print something at work, and sometimes I type YEEEEEHAAAWW! at the end so my day won’t be all bad.

February 13 - Should I make the flourless torte with 18 oz. of chocolate or the one with 8 oz. of chocolate? This is a stupid question.

February 3 - Friend: A woman at work lost her nipple from breastfeeding. Me: DID SHE GET IT BACK?!

January 6 - I dislike the nouning of the adjective creative.

January 2 - I was thinking of giving up refined sugar this month but then I got a lot of candy gifts, so…you know.

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Sunday December 29, 2013 at 10:23

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A Visit

'Twas three nights after Christmas and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, save the cat and a mouse

The couple was nestled asleep in their bed

While visions of chocolate and bourbon danced in their heads

And then at four bells she awoke to great noise

To find her loud cat playing with a new toy

The mews were so noisy she turned on a light

And seeing the dead mouse, she screamed at the sight

"Oh my god, get rid of it!" she cried to her man

Who laughed and seemed to give not a damn

The cat continued to play without much a care

Grabbing the mouse by the neck, flinging it down the stairs 

After much whimpering, he finally relented

The mouse in a bag, its fate cemented 

Giggling at the scene, they returned to bed

And visions of dead mice danced in her head.

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Sunday December 08, 2013 at 21:23

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Questions Prompted By Wedding Dress Shopping

  • Do I need to go to one of those stores that are appointment-only and pull your one-size-fits-all dress in with giant binder clips?
  • Do the words “simple and elegant” mean anything to you, google algorithms?
  • Do I have to look ultra-bride-like or can I just look sort of sexy-bridesmaid like?
  • Is it true, as one internet commenter put it, that “real brides” don’t buy their dresses at J. Crew?
  • Should I pick a dress I can breathe easily in or one whose color isn’t labeled “canvas”?
  • Is there some occasion that isn’t this wedding where I can wear this one dress cause like it’s just really pretty but it doesn’t show off my shoulders and it feels more like a classy winter dress so basically, is anyone willing to have a party soon that justifies a $500-some dollar dress that looks like a wedding gown?
  • Is there an equation that calculates your true womanhood based on the fullness of a bridal skirt?
  • Is it wrong to get a bridesmaid dress in Ivory and then ask your bridesmaids to pay basically the same amount for their dress? (hahhahah, suckers)
  • Is it wrong to instruct bridesmaids to wear dresses made of jersey because jersey is totally classy and you can wear it forever this isn’t a question anymore.
  • Is looking more like a bride worth $500?
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